The Speculist

Social Prostheses

Welcome Instapundit readers (and everybody else, of course). If you'd like to see how realistic the below-referenced chatting computers can be, don't miss my interview with Ramona from earlier this week. And if that's not enough for you, I'm talking to several other chatbots in this week's Seven Questions about the Future column. Have you ever tried to get chatbots to answer specific questions? It's like hearding cyber-cats. But I digress. On to the promised piece on social prostheses...

I missed this piece in Science News earlier this week talking about Cognitive Prostheses. A cognitive prosthesis is defined as “a computational tool that amplifies or extends a person's thought and perception.” The article provides several interesting examples, one of which is an intuitive cockpit display projected onto a pilot’s glasses. The display provides the pilot real-time information and greatly simplifies operation of an aircraft.

This idea reminds me of that little visual display that Robocop had, telling him who was his friend and who he should blow away. Didn’t the Terminator have one, too? It’s interesting that technology that in the 1980’s we imagined might one day be used by robots and cyborgs is now being developed for humans. But maybe I’m drawing needless distinctions. After all, it probably won’t be that long before we can say that we have met the cyborg, and he is us.

Anyhow, I’m intrigued by the idea of cognitive prostheses and I see a huge mass-market potential if they can ever be adapted to social situations. Consider a few applications:

Chat Booster
For shy types, the Chat Booster is a godsend at parties and other awkward social occasions. It feeds a steady stream of context-sensitive opening lines, witty ripostes, and intriguing questions into your field of vision. You need never again feel anxious about having something to say. You just read it off the tiny screen.

Context-sensitivity is the only real trick. The prosthesis would need to be able to distinguish and process input from several different sources (i.e., fellow party-goers) and respond appropriately to each. But I don’t think you would need Turing Test caliber AI. The kinds of chats we can have online now would probably suffice. (Hell, I’ve been to plenty of parties where I doubt half the people could pass a Turing Test.)

Anyhow, once we have the chat booster, things really start to get interesting…

Pick-up Pack
An upgrade to the standard Chat Booster that tells you exactly what to say in order to be irresistible to that special someone. (From the ad: Results shown not typical. Your results may vary.)

Brown Nose 3000
A workplace-specific implementation of the Chat Booster. Feeds you plenty of good suck-up material to use on the boss. If this isn’t enough (which it generally ought to be), the system can be upgraded to feed you knowledgeable statements about the industry you’re in.

The Argumenator
Why wait until 2:00 AM to think of the perfect, biting response that you should have used hours ago before she left you standing there with your mouth hanging open? Like Deep Blue selecting the perfect chess move from myriad possibilities, the Argumenator hands you a flawless, devastating, unanswerable comeback every time. And if the person you’re arguing with does somehow manage to respond, don’t worry. There are plenty more where that one came from.

WARNING: If you’re both wearing Argumenators, you’re in for a long night.

Mr. Nice Guy
Provides calm, amiable responses when talking to creeps, whiners, blowhards, and other jerks. Sold stand-alone or as an upgrade to the Brown Nose 3000. Optional Serotonin regulator sold separately.

Boredom Blaster
Runs a movie or videogame (operated by subtle eyebrow twitches) in your main visual/auditory field while you’re cornered by some bore going on and on about…whatever. (Like, who’s listening?) The prosthesis prompts you with “uh-huh” and “oh really?” as required by the flow of the conversation, and provides a context-sensitive question to ask every now and then.

These are just a few possible examples. CAC (Computer-Aided Conversation) is going to be an enormous field. Instances of genuine human interaction can be kind of hard to come by these days. But fear not. When CAC becomes widespread, they will be all but eliminated!

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UPDATE: By the way, if you're interested in the serious discussion of these kinds of issues, you might think about this Special Offer.